Ready to Retire

Why do we work so hard? I've been asking myself that question all week. Then I ask the following: what is the earliest age at which I can retire?

I'm ready to retire right now. I was trying to do math in my head, failing miserably, and trying to figure out what is the minimum amount of money I need to make in order to survive while still having a little left over for some travel. If I can figure out at what age I can retire and still make that amount, that will be my retirement age. I may need an accountant for this - or at least someone good with numbers.

See, I think people get greedy, working till they're old and gray so they can get the most during retirement (at least that's how it is in the government). However, I think that if you spend your life working, by the time you retire you are too old to enjoy what you've earned. I have no intention of making that mistake.

I already know that I am minimally eligible for retirement after 25 years of government service - that puts me at a minimum retirement age of 50, but screw that! I need a faster plan...rambling ideas anyone?

1. Lottery
2. Start my own business
3. Make money off this blog. Haha - not likely
4. Buy as many batman comics as I can and hope I can sell them for a lot more $ later.
5. Do the same but with basketball cards, football cards, baseball cards? lol
6. Invest. Now why is this one of the last things that occur to me?

Maybe a combination of 4, 5 and 6. JK, I'm probably doomed to work till I'm 50!

Wednesday Thoughts

I was sent this via email today and as I read these I realized I agree with everything on that list, except one comment which I deleted. So I thought I'd share, plus they're funny.

Ø  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Ø  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Ø  I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Ø  There is great need for a sarcasm font.

Ø  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Ø  Was learning cursive really necessary?

Ø  MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Ø  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Ø  I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Ø  Bad decisions make good stories.

Ø  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Ø  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection. Again.

Ø  I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page analysis report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

Ø  "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -ever.

Ø  I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Ø  I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Ø  I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Ø  I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

Ø  I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

Ø  I wish Google Maps had "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

Ø  Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

Ø  I would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Ø  I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Ø  How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

Ø  I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters.

Ø  Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Ø  Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

Ø  There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Ø  Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Ø  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Ø  Why does the computer give you the option to check the box that says “Don’t show this message again” if its just gonna keep popping up?

Dating

Ok, so I've been slacking on this blog. I promised you a table for opportunity cost and I didn't deliver...yet. I also have been MIA for a bit, but in my defense I did recently move, and we all know moving sucks. I was going to blog about the move, but I will save that for another day.

I no longer have my girls to chat during my lunch hour, which was how this blog got started in the first place, but I still have a lot of friends who give me plenty to think about. For instance, it seems the world of dating has merged with the electronic world, meaning that we now get to text, IM, Facebook, etc. Oh, and don't forget you now get to meet the love of your life on an online site (OK this last one is less likely to happen). The fact is that noone calls anymore, remember phone calls? Remember dates for that matter? You know, real life, face-to-face action...chuckles..no pun intended.

Don't get me wrong, I love technology and gadgets, but I miss the old days when there was no texting, IM, Facebook, or any variation of online help. Why? Because then if a guy got your name and number, the only thing he could do was call. Therefore, you knew that he either would or wouldn't, 50/50 chance, I like those odds. Then, if he didn't call within a few days you could move on.

In today's age of technology, the fucker can email, text, Facebook, and basically do everything in his power to avoid asking a simple question - can I take you out on date?
I mean there are a million variations of that, it can be:

1. Can I buy you coffee?
2. Will you let me take you to dinner?
3. Will you go out with me Saturday?
4. Can I take you to a movie?

I can go all day with these. My girlfriends tell me all these stories about how they text a guy for weeks before he finds some excuse to see them, and even then he acts like it's a friendly encounter, no date implied at all. That is such a cop out, but the worst thing is that if that's the way its done, I'm doomed. I have no idea how to flirt via text, I mean I have issues knowing how to flirt in real life unless the guy starts it. Then I have this really old fashioned way of thinking where I think girls shouldn't ask guys out, I know I should probably get with the times, but I can't help the way I was raised.

So guys, grow some and ask women out, it is simpler than you think. See, women are simple, we know if we are willing to give you a chance within the first 10 minutes of meeting you. Granted, some guys talk their way out of that chance, or they can talk their way into that chance. Bottom line: if a girl gives you her number, ask her out! You have nothing to lose.