Christmas Cards

Ah…the holidays, that wonderful time of the year when you get to spend all the money you don’t have on gifts that will be thrown out by the next Christmas. I'm going to be a bit of a Grinch here and ask, what is the point? Why do we spend hours at the mall buying all these presents? Because we love one another? We care? So we need to buy something to show it? I would like to meet the genius that decided to take the three wise men's gifts to Jesus and turn it into the biggest money making scam in all of mankind.

Contrary to my tone, I actually like Christmas, but not because of the gifts. I like Christmas because it’s that special time of the year when everyone gets together one way or the other. I like it because I get days off to see my family who lives 1000 miles away (literally). I also like:

1.      The lights/colors

2.      The food

3.      The parties
4.      Did I mention the food?

The things that ruin Christmas for me are:

1.      Presents

2.      Christmas cards

3.      Christmas Music

4.      Random people knocking on your door like Jojoba’s Witnesses to sing you songs (i.e. Carolers)

5.      Christmas TV programs and movies

Let me touch up on #2 for a minute, Christmas Cards. Why do people give you these absolutely ridiculous cards of them and their family? You know which ones I’m talking about, because we all have those lame family members, friends, or co-workers who take a picture with their kids, print it on a card, and send it to everyone they know!

My roommate has the lamest card up on our fridge right now, and of course I have no idea who these people are. The card has 3 pictures; one of this lady, her husband, and her 2 kids just smiling, then one of the kids alone, and finally…are you ready for this?....another one of the 4 of them being silly! It’s like; “OMG look at how playful and silly and cute we are” – NOT – These people look like tools! The worst part is that I have to stare at this stupid a$$ picture for the rest of my holiday season.

Then, my co-workers started to give me cards, and while some have the decency to keep their idiotic family pictures to themselves, others decided to give me a card with their kids on it!

LISTEN UP AMERICA: are u listening?

NOONE, I repeat, NOONE wants to see you or your kid’s pictures, especially if you’re being “silly” and you think it’s cute. I promise you that while your immediate family may appreciate the gesture, no one outside of that small circle is going to give a F#%$, let alone want to see it. So, you’re just gonna look like a jacka$$ doing your silly poses and everyone is going to make fun of you behind your back. Then, when we are done laughing at you, we are going to give it to the neighbor’s dog as a new chew toy, I mean it is Christmas after all, can’t leave the furry creatures out.