NOT Into You

You know that movie "He's Just Not That Into You?" Women will go to their graves swearing that it's not accurate and not true, and so will the men who know better.

In my experience, that movie is dead on! I didn't want to write this until I collected some more evidence, so as always I had my lunch hour discussion with the girls and got some interesting ideas to rant about. I also, checked with some guys just to be sure I am not making this up in my head.

First of all, I want to say that I love the part in the movie where the African ladies are sitting around offering their friend some comforting words for why he didn't contact her anymore. It goes like this:

Girl 1: Maybe he lost your hut number?
Girl 2: Maybe he got eaten by a lion?

The second one sounds like PAR for the course in Africa, but kind of ridiculous here doesn't it? Then again, some of the stuff we tell each other is pretty ridiculous, no no matter where you are in the world.

Every time a guy doesn't call, doesn't text, and doesn't set up a date, you can rest assured that his best friend didn't die, he didn't lose his phone, or your number, and he definitely didn't get eaten by a lion! He just doesn't care, so put your best slutty dress on, gather up your girls, and hit up your favorite spot cause you're gonna have to move on.

There are times when we are pretty sure he is interested and then we wonder why he takes so long to see you again, or why he doesn't text you that often. The answer is simple, you're not his first priority, not even his first option for that Happy Hour drink. So, for all intents and purposes, you should walk away. When a guy is interested and into you, you will know! He will set up the next date within a day or two of the first one, some guys may try setting up the second date while on the first one. He won't use leaving town as an excuse to not contact you, example:

Girl: I'm making out with this guy and he mentions that he's going out of town so he's gonna be out of touch
Guy 1: To where New Guinea? Where is he going that he's gonna be out of touch?
Girl: Where are you going out of town to again?
Guy 2: Pittsburgh
Guy 1: Run!

Of course our girlfriends don't help, they sit there and allow us to brainwash ourselves by thinking about all the "signs" he gave us. He answered the phone while with another girl, that must mean he likes me - NO - if he likes you so much why is he on a date WITH SOMEONE ELSE. He invited me to a party so he must want to spend time with me - NO - that just means he is killing 2 birds with a stone, if he wanted to spend time with you he would invite you out on a date!

Let's keep it real, we know if a guy is not into you he doesn't call or text that often, or at all, and doesn't try to see you that often, or at all. We get it, but what about women? We are even worse! When we aren't interested in a guy we don't just slowly disappear, sometimes we don't disappear at all. We keep you around because we know that you're safe, and I can't believe I'm admitting this but it's true, almost every woman has done this at least once in her life. We keep that guy around because he answers the phone, because he won't say no to a date, because he will offer good entertainment, and treat us kindly, but at the end of the night you and I both know he's going home alone. That's not to say that we are stringing you along to torture you, most good girls won't, it's just that if you don't make your intentions clear, you make it easy for even the nice girls to hit the friend road without any remorse.

Like the movie says "she still calls, she wants a massage, she leaves cute messages, but it's not going anywhere, what is she doing?" I believe the correct answer is: using you!

It's true that sometimes a girl likes you and just wants you to be a man and make a move, but if you've made it clear that you want to be more than friends, and the above mentioned behavior is still in effect, you too should walk away. Call your boys or whatever it is men do. Find a one night stand, or go shoot some hoops, but really, just move on.