It dawned on me yesterday that ever since I stopped being angry my blog has gotten kind of boring. I feel like I don't have anything to vent about these days, and I am very disappointed in myself.
So I got to thinking, what do I feel strongly enough about to discuss in a few paragraphs? Long distance relationships came to mind. I feel like this is one of those things you’re either for or against, there is rarely a gray area. What’s interesting to me is that if you would have asked me a month ago what I thought on this I would have definitely been on the “against” train, but I've started to reconsider.
Why was I so against this stuff in the first place? A question I've asked myself many times. Perhaps it was the idea of being in a relationship with someone who you rarely ever see that was disturbing to me. The thought being that if you’re out of sight, you’re likely out of mind, and as someone who was cheated on while dating someone in the same zip code, I feel that long distance would be the unfaithful dream. You also have to think about the cost of a long distance relationship, the travel time, and ultimately what you get out of it. I believed that with all the fish in the sea, there was never a reason to put yourself or anyone else through the hassle. Assuming you’re not a cheater, are not being cheated on, can afford the trips, and have the time to take them, there is still the crappy part where you miss the person and can’t be with them. Now why would anyone put themselves through this torture? I asked myself.
So, I started picking apart he reasons why I was against it in the first place, and this is what I came up with. While it is true that long distance relationships are not for everyone, I don’t mean this because of the above reasons. I mean this because no matter how many excuses you throw at it, it ultimately comes down to effort and how much you want this person. In my case, the cost and time are not an issue, and the cheating is not an issue on my part (not built that way). So what does that leave? Definitely the fear of being cheated on, and the fact that it’s torture, while there ARE other fish.
If you’re going to get cheated on I am living proof that it’s going to happen, and it doesn’t matter if you live in the same city, zip code, or even the same roof! Of course it’s easier when the person lives 1,000 miles away, but like my good friend Jorge says, haters gonna hate, so cheaters are going to cheat, period. What are you going to do? Doubt everything and drive yourself nuts? If this is the case, then not only should you not attempt a long distance relationship, but you should probably see a psychologist, address your daddy issues, and then try to date someone, because these trust issues will likely be there even if you’re dating locally.
Now on to the next two, the torture that you have to endure not being able to see this person at your will and call, while having other fish in the sea. Let’s start with the fish. I for one can tell you as a woman with standards, there may be fish in the sea, but most of them are like catching a yellow tail snapper that’s less than 12” long, rules will say you have to throw it back (you like that piece of useful info?). The sea is full of these yellow tails, but catching the right one is not so easy. On to my point, if you are lucky enough to find the right “fish,” you shouldn’t throw it back simply because he is difficult to pull off the hook (what is it with me and fishing metaphors today?). Anyway, the right fish is worth the fight it gives you (had to sneak one more in there).
Ok enough with the fishing, you hopefully see the point by now. I would much rather be with someone who I miss all the time and long to be with, torturous as it may sound, than to be with someone who is right next to me all the time, but doesn’t make me feel alive. Life is short, but that doesn’t mean you settle, it means you fight that much harder for the things you want, because you’re likely not getting another chance.
No comments:
Post a Comment