Ever date someone who says they want to see you exclusively, only so that you keep it in your pants while they go and mess around with the rest of the world? Maybe they say that because they don’t want you to meet anyone else, or because they want you to be dedicated, making it the perfect situation for them but a sucky one for you.
What do you do about it? Do you confront the person? Do you play dumb and do whatever you want behind their back? Do you end it? Do you enjoy the ride anyway and brace for the crash later?
I am a firm believer that the best way to predict future behavior is past behavior. For example, I once dated someone who cheated. He said he had changed and felt terrible about it, so I gave him a chance, only to find out he cheated on me too! People don’t change.
We often try to do the right thing, placing faith in others because we need/want to. Sometimes we have faith because the words sound so sweet and it feels so great in that moment that we can’t imagine having it any other way. It’s all a lie you know? Not trying to be negative, just smart.
There should never be a caveat behind the words "I'll never hurt you," that should have been my first clue. I think my super power is somehow knowing when I am being lied to, manipulated, or straight up toyed with. I can turn off my brain long enough to not notice these things, but the minute that fucker is back online, it’s game over. Sometimes I wish I was dumb, stupid people live in their ignorant bliss and quite frankly, they’re probably happier for it.
In my particular case I had a feeling something was up, a feeling I couldn't shake. It was a long time ago but I still remember the details. It started on a Thursday night, when a picture and an unanswered text spiked my curiosity (or perhaps my better judgement). I admit I started plotting, so I called him to test a theory, knowing he wouldn’t pick up. Friday and Saturday he tried to act normal, but like I said – super powers. Saturday was really what gave him away, he didn’t have to admit to sh*t on Sunday when I asked, because I already knew, I think I just wanted to hear it from him. I told him in passing once that I was really good at playing dumb (emphasis on the word playing), he should have listened, then again I don’t think he cared enough. I hung up the phone, feeling a mix of anger and relief, and he texted me right away with an apology (trying to sound sincere). I swear all I wanted to do was send him this:
In my particular case I had a feeling something was up, a feeling I couldn't shake. It was a long time ago but I still remember the details. It started on a Thursday night, when a picture and an unanswered text spiked my curiosity (or perhaps my better judgement). I admit I started plotting, so I called him to test a theory, knowing he wouldn’t pick up. Friday and Saturday he tried to act normal, but like I said – super powers. Saturday was really what gave him away, he didn’t have to admit to sh*t on Sunday when I asked, because I already knew, I think I just wanted to hear it from him. I told him in passing once that I was really good at playing dumb (emphasis on the word playing), he should have listened, then again I don’t think he cared enough. I hung up the phone, feeling a mix of anger and relief, and he texted me right away with an apology (trying to sound sincere). I swear all I wanted to do was send him this:
But I figured he'd think I was bitter, when in fact I was relieved that it was over, besides, I wasn't even close to love. Anyway, I thought the picture was appropriate and it made me laugh, but I knew he wouldn’t take it well, so I didn’t send it (not everyone shares my twisted sense of humor).
Wherever he is now I wish him no harm, and I hope he finds happiness in his one-night-stands. This is not coming from a bitter or angry place, because I moved on faster than I imagined, but I never got to vent. Plus, it made for an entertaining blog entry :)
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